HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Oh my God, pinch me. I can’t believe this is actually going to happen. In my heart of hearts I’m probably hoping he has some level of success, but as someone who thinks that the Duke Blue Devils are…well, the Devil, this is about at schadenfreude-tastic as it gets. Enjoy 50 sacks, 20 INTs and a 2-10 season, Greg.

Kenan Stadium Update: New Lights Yay!

Kenan Stadium was purty to begin with, but this season’s upgrades make it ready for its close-up. First it was the Football center; now…LET THERE BE LIGHT!

I attended both of the last two games at Kenan when the lights went out (Marshall 2000, UConn 2008; at the Marshall game they even kept playing!), and I have to admit those games were fun in their own way. But hey, aint nothin’ wrong with being all fancy lookin’.

(Photo from Tar Heel Fan)

Photos: Kenan Football Center Renovation Nearly Complete

And I have to say that it looks very, very nice.

On Preseason Expectations and…Such.

I’m an optimist. I believe that, no matter how much civilization will try to screw things up, it will always prevail. If a nuclear winter hits, my first thought will be “Is my family okay?” and my second will be “at least we’re rid of that damn kudzu infestation”. I find it a waste of time to dwell on glass-half-empty emotions.

And yet, even I wonder of the hyperbole surrounding the 2009 Heels football team may be a bit much.

UNC ranked #20 in the AP Poll: WHOOOOOOOO!!! I was wondering if we’d make the poll. 16-25 is where most of the “speculation” teams go, and I think we’re one of the better speculative teams out there. So yeah, fair enough.

UNC ranked #16 on the NBC Sports Poll: Okay, now we’re pushing it. If you’re basing your poll on on our schedule and what our record might look like in December, then okay. But if you think that the Heels are the 16th best team out there…I just don’t see it. There are too many questions, and we won;t have enough answers until at least September 26th when UNC visits Atlanta.

Shaun Draughn on the Doak Walker Award Watch List: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT

now, this isn’t to say that Shaun Draughn isn’t a good back: he is. Nor is it to say that the Doak Walker people shouldn’t cover as many bases as possible (although why do they need a list this early?). But this is a bit much. I only see three backs getting Award-type numbers: Jonathan Dwyer, C.J. Spiller, and Darren Evans. Those players have one benefit in common: the offense is geared specifically to them, or any player in the same position. UNC runs a pro-style offense, which places more emphasis on the pass that Georgia Tech or Virginia Tech will for an entire season. Also none of these players have competition at the position. Ryan Houston will take quite a few carries, including short yardage touchdowns. Adding Jamal Womble into the RB mix could shrink Draughn’s numbers even further. Even if Draughn plays exceptionally well under this system, the offense that Butch Davis and John Shoop want to run will prevent him from getting the gaudy numbers he needs to win the award.

To put it simply: it’s not gonna happen. (Of course, I’m not sure a Tar Heel wants to receive anything bearing Doak Walker’s name; CHOO CHOOWUZ ROBBED !!!)

I’m a huge fan of outlandish expectations; I dream of an 11-1 season in 2009, even though the back of my mind tells me that dream will be crushed by October 30th. It’s just that after 9 years under the Iron Mustache Curtain (dear leaders Torbush and Bunting), I don’t expect outsiders to be every bit as pie-in-the-sky about Carolina football as I am. In an Allegory of the Cave sort of way, it’s shocking. But hey, I’m out into the light and there’s a beautiful hillside waiting for me ahead.

Until the storms come in couple of months, of course.

From The Makers of ShamWow in Spanish…

It’s Slap Chop in Spanish! It was only a matter of time.

ODIAS hacer ensalaaaadaaassssss…

Meet The Newbies! Josh Adams

Football Season: It’s creeping up a lot faster than you think. It makes no sense to cover the important players you already know. That’s the MSM’s job. Instead, let’s talk about the players with whom you may be less familiar: The players who will get significant PT for the first time. Today we look at Josh Adams, a man soon to become the preying mantis of the ACC. I have no idea what that metaphor means.

What We Know: 6’4″ Josh Adams enrolled early this past January, getting a head start on his true freshman peers. This decision has allowed him to move up the depth chart faster than other highly touted freshman like fellow WR Jheranie Boyd and top high school defensive end Donte Moss. (Mind you, Moss was the #1 DE in the nation when he signed, and the Heels are thinner at DE than at WR right now.) Adams had 1131 receiving yards and 14 touchdowns on just 56 catches his senior year in high school, averaging 20 yards per catch. (Detractors say those numbers were inflated by inferior opponents, but eh.) Adams’ first college football experience was spring practice, which makes him just as qualified as anyone else on this team to be a starting receiver.

What They’re Saying: As directed by the UNC Football Ministry of Propaganda, quarterback T. J. Yates has praised Adams as a dream in convenient wide receiver form:

“He’s one of the hardest working receivers I’ve been around. Especially for his young age. Coming right into school, he was 100 percent ball, all the time. He was watching film everyday, catching the ball. Even when he was hurt he was catching the ball, running routes, so his work ethic is really going to pay off for him. He’s definitely going to contribute for us. He’s got great hands, he runs really good routes, and he can go up there and make the catches guys aren’t supposed to, so he’s definitely going to make some plays for us.”

Until September 5th, no one outside of UNC’s practices has any way of substantiating this claim.

What We Can Expect: I don’t see him moving ahead of Greg Little or Dwight Jones into the starting lineup. However, Josh Adams seems to have established himself in spring practice as the #3 wide receiver for the Heels. If he stays there and plays well, he could put up Brooks Foster-type numbers this season: 25-35 catches and 300-450 yards. I have no idea if this will actually happen, but in UNC’s pro-style offense it’s a reasonable ceiling.

(Photo: IC)

ACC PREDICTIONS PREDICTIONS PREDICTIONS!

VT blog Gobbler Country and Furrier4Heisman held a preseason conference poll among ACC bloggers and was kind enough to invite my opinion, despite my recent sporadic-ness-ness-ness. (I will save the explanation for another time, but for now I’ll say life got in the way.) Anyway, here were may predictions:

Atlantic Division

1. Florida State

2. NC State

3. Clemson

4. Wake Forest

5. Maryland

6. Boston College

Florida State has the talent, eventually they have to pull it together, right? State is a team on the rise despite the (temporary?) loss of Nate Irving. I sincerely hope he comes back to haunt running backs’ dreams again…just not our backs. Clemson is still talented, but we don’t know how consistent they are. Wake Forest will take a step back on defense, the key to their success the last three years. Boston College is squarely in rebuilding mode after all they’ve lost.

Coastal Division

1. Virginia Tech

2. Georgia Tech

3. North Carolina

4. Miami

5. Virginia

6. Duke

Last year was the time to pounce on the Coastal Division and step up in Virginia Tech’s rebuilding year. That window is now closed, and now anyone who wants to win this division must go through the Hokies. Georgia Tech’s Success will depend on whether their triple option stand the test of a team getting a second look. I actually predicted that North Carolina can finish as well as 10-2, but they have to beat one or both of the Techs on the road in order to win the division; honestly, I don;t think this team is ready. Miami still needs to show consistency to be placed higher than fourth. Virginia lose too many important players from 2008 and Duke is, well, Duke.

Offensive Player of the Year: Darren Evans, Virginia Tech

Partly because he’s very good and partly to be contrarian. How Gobbler Country let me get away with calling him “Darrell Evans” in the email I sent him, I’ll never know.

Defensive Player of the Year: QUANTAVIUS THE MAGNIFICENT, UNC.

I have never been more confident of a prediction in my entire life. Ever.

Rookie of the Year: Josh Adams, UNC.

Not knowing much (read: anything about other rookies in the ACC, I decided to stick to what I know. Judging by the pairty in voting in this category, everyone else voted the same way. I think Jamal Womble will have a bigger impact, but I have a hunch Adams will have better stats.

Thanks again to Gobbler Country for holding this poll.

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