Dick Vitale Finally Loses His Mind

Well, we all knew this was going to happen eventually. Dickie V, in all his exuberance, was clearly running out of brain cells, and his cranium finally went empty during last night’s Duke-Boston College broadcast, when he said: “It doesn’t matter if Mike Krzyzewski wins games. He’s a great humanitarian.” At that point his final brain cell committed seppuku, and two hours later, the following was caught on tape in his “hotel”.

ESPN plans on a brain transplant in time for Saturday night’s game between BC and the Tar Heels. Pray for the surgery’s success, the fate of college basketball rests on it. If not, ESPN will be forced to use Digger Phelps as their color commentator. Do you want to live in a world where Digger Phelps is trying to comment on Ty Lawson’s latest turnover while sniffing his highlighter and using his matching tie as a diaper? I don’t want to live in such a world, so you’d better hope Dickie V has a successful transplant.