This week I decided to change things up a bit. Instead of answering From The Rumble Seat‘s questions directly, I will answer them with Freakazoid clips.
1. Alright fellas, this is your turn to apologize to the Boston College Eagles who went to Hell and back and have now arrived as the 3rd team for the ACC (and only team in the Atlantic) to be bowl eligible. You know you were snickering in the preseason. Also, give a high five to Mark Herzlich for finishing his last treatment of chemo.
I extend my congratulations in particular to Herzlich, who has made it through the toughest six months of his life, and Frank Spaziani, who took the least desirable situation in the ACC and may turn it into another division title. However, I am not entirely convinced that this is a real football team and not 85 zombies on scholarship. After burying them so many times, the press may have turned BC Football into the undead. Like Jack Valenti.
2. An Orange Bowl victory over a Boise/ TCU or an Orange Bowl victory over a Penn State/ Cincy team – which means more for the conference? Is there even a difference?
There is no difference whatsoever. No matter who the ACC Champion plays, America’s reaction to the 2010 Orange Bowl will be the following:
3. Enough with the CJ Spillers, the Christian Ponders, and the Jacory Harrises. We wanna talk defense. Who is the defensive POTY thus far in the ACC?
I’m inclined to be biased and give my nomination to Robert Quinn. UNC might have the best defense in the conference, about the only thing keeping us on the path to bowl eligibility. That’s in part because Quinn toys with offensive tackles the way Narwhals do with viking ships.
4. Recently, Bird compared the Atlantic to the Big 12 North. Is this a fair comparison? The Coastal is currently 8-2 against the Atlantic. There are still 8 interdivision games left. Can the Atlantic redeem itself this season?
In all honesty, and with all due respect to the Chestnut Hill Undead All-Stars, there is only one way for the Atlantic division to redeem itself this year: Clemson needs to win the damn thing. It will bring 50,000 extra fans into Tampa for the Championship game and send the Dab-O-Meter into the red. If the title game becomes BC-Georgia Tech, then expect a crowd more sparse than our solar system.
5. Tailgating is essential to all things football. In Atlanta, the tailgating game of choice is cornhole. What is your game of choice to pass the time?
You mean everyone at Tech walks around the parking with their shirt over their head chugging Red Bull? Eh. Would make as much sense as anything else I’ve seen in Atlanta.
At any tailgate all activities must, in some form, be related to meat.
6. Let’s cut to the chase. There are two kinds of people: sheep and sharks. Sharks are winners and they don’t look back ’cause they don’t have necks. Necks are for sheep. Is your team full of sharks or is your team full of sheep?
Defense = Sharks
Offense = Cheese-Eating Surrender monkeys
7. Create a cocktail in the spirit of your school and explain it to us. Non-edible ingredients are allowed and encouraged.
It doesn’t matter what there is to drink. Just don’t drink with this guy.