“Ultimate Duke House” Under Construction

It appears Duke basketball will finally be rewarded for their success with a house that they can call their own.

It was revealed this week by coach Mike Krzyzewski and President Richard Broadhead that upperclassmen from the Duke University basketball team will now live in an off-campus house to increase camaraderie and security for the players, secluded from on-campus fans. Already dubbed “the Ultimate Duke House” by students, the house (pictured below) will have five bedrooms, where seniors will have individual bedrooms and any extra juniors will share rooms. Walk-on upperclassmen will sleep on the couch. The house is expected to be complete by the fall semester.

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Here’s what some in the world of college basketball, mostly current and former Duke players, had to say about the Duke House…

Mike Krzyzewski: “This is a milestone for our program. Finally, a place where I can visit, hang out informally with my players, invite recruits, have Wojo over and I don’t have to worry about the wife spy–um, I think I’ve said too much.”

Johnny Dawkins: “The inspiration for this house was the pink locker rooms at the University of Iowa. There’s some Hayden Fry reverse psychology s— goin’ on up in here.”

Gerald Henderson: You see that? You see that s—? That’s why I committed to Duke.

Josh McRoberts: You see that? You see that s—? That’s why I declared for the NBA.

Kyle Singler: Must…feast…on…blood…and…flesh…of…the…living…

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Dick Vitale: (genitalia explodes from sheer joy)

Jon Scheyer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Christian Laettner: “Ya wanna battle, bitch? You little street news reporter? Let’s battle, ‘cuz I battle any sex or any race, you beating me is like Billy Crystal playing Scarface! I can’t see it, I’m blind to the eyes, I came up in your face OOPS POW SURPRISE! OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Cherokee Parks: “Is that all you got, fool? It is so ON. gimme the mic! Church. Tabernacle. Titty one, titty two. Prophet Eli. My mental gymnastics will flip you, like an Aunt Jemima flapjack. Now how ’bout that?”

Prince: (playing basketball) “Good. (swish) In your face, Christian Laettner.” (drives lane uncontested, dunks) “Game…blouses.”

Greg Paulus: (falls down, reporter is charged with an offensive foul)

J.J. Redick:

Wojo: This is architectural masterpiece! ARE YOU LISTENING?!?! QUIT CRYING AND LISTEN TO ME! (slaps the floor) ASIDE FROM ME, THIS IS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN IN THE HISTORY OF THIS PROGRAM. EVER.

McRoberts: (sobs uncontrollably in towel)

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Sidney Lowe: Not bad, but it could use a little shag carpeting. And chrome window frames. And females. Lots and lots of females.

Scheyer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Roy Williams: “Wow…I didn’t think that a basketball team could feel so…pretty…hahahahahah…. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (breathes deeply) HAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh God! Make it sta-ha-hop! HAHAhahahahah haa….ha…..haaaaa. I’m very happy for Duke and their upperclassmen. They deserve this wonderfuhlahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!

“Ummmmm…you’ve got this off the record, right? No? Crap.”

Tyler Hansbrough: Mi mimimi mi mimimimiMI…mimimi.

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We Apologize For That Distraction

We now return to your regularly scheduled making fun of Duke, already in progress.

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Steve Wojciechowski Enjoying Offseason As a Part Time Veterinarian

As an alum and a die-hard fan of North Carolina, I will blindly root against any of Duke’s on-court or on-field activities. But even I have to admit, the Dookies are model citizens off the court.

Take the example of Duke assistant coach and former point guard Steve Wojciechowski. After the Blue Devil’s down year and early exit from the tournament, I would have forgiven him if went to the film room, poring over game films to find out what went wrong. He could have gone on the recruiting trail to find new players to rebuild his proud program. Hell, he could have vented his frustrations out smashing an inanimate object. But being the model citizen that he is, Wojo decided to begin his offseason by giving back to his community. Less than a week after the heartbreaking loss to VCU, Wojo was in a veterinary clinic for exotic pets in Raleigh, North Carolina, working several shifts and taking care of various animals rarely seen on Earth. We have manged to obtain two photos of his volunteer work.

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Here, we see Steve Wojciechowski providing a routine checkup to Rodrigo, a young bull. Since the vet staff complained of his constipation, Wojo is checking for colon polyps. Rodrigo doesn’t seem to mind.

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In this picture, Wojo is in the middle of a delicate procedure, using sterile plastic tweezers to remove a brain tumor from the head of a giant parrot. The parrot has been briefly incapacitated by watching a “Flavor of Love” marathon while Wojciechowski removes the tumor without causing any pain.

In an era of cynicism toward athletes, it’s nice to see when an sports figure has a direct positive impact on others. Even if it’s a Dookie.

Goodbye, Josh McRoberts!

We’re going to miss your flopping and inside turnovers, as you venture into the NBA.

Seriously, McRoberts has talent, but for him to succeed he’s going to need an attitude adjustment. I, for one, am not counting on it based on this video evidence.

Video: VCU Eric Maynor’s Game Winning Shot Against Duke

The absolute happiest moment for me from the Tournament so far. I must have been screaming for five minutes straight after this. Now all that’s left is for the Heels to make the Final Four. I will forever be a fan of Virginia Commonwealth because of this.

Chris Duhon Has Really Hit The Skids

I’ve heard a lot of people say that’s difficult to adjust to life in the NBA. I have taken that statement for granted, but I never believed that the adjustment would be this difficult. There are a lot of seedy characters you meet, and they can end up taking advantage of you just because you’re famous. But I had never seen such a clear example until now. Here we see Chris Duhon, accomplished Duke Player and and Chicago Bulls backup point guard, spending his free time working as a male stripper as a favor to his marijuana dealer, for whom he owes hundreds of dollars.

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Who’s that guy handing out more cash? Pacman Jones?

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I was shocked! That’s more of Chris than I needed to see. Didn’t Coach K teach him to stay away from such people? He’s from Chicago, he needs to tell Chris rule #1: Don’t let the customer touch you!

(photo gallery found via Deadspin)

Video and Photos: Gerald Henderson’s Elbow on Tyler Hansbrough

Thanks to the forum at Inside Carolina for both the photo and the video of the play (url if link doesn’t work: http://www.beamin1.com/offsite/dookthugs.wmv, requires Windows media Player, WARNING: explicit commentary). To think, I was almost brainwashed by Billy Packer into thinking it was completely unintentional. Now, Henderson may not have meant to bloody his nose. But undoubtedly there was some intent; he definitely meant to foul Hansbrough hard.

This is a great picture with caption from Today’s ACC Headlines (3/6). If Billy Packer was covering this game in Cameron Indoor, he may have said this.

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Even the Dook player (#5, left) is shocked and cringing at the whole thing.

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You have to thank Dewey Burke (right) for preventing Psycho T from going completely postal.

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Here’s a photo of Henderson leaving. My favorite part is the look on Wojo’s face (left).

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UPDATE (3/5): Okay, now that WordPress will finally let me edit, I also have a YouTube video of the clip (for some reason the other video link isn’t working):

UPDATE (3/7): The most important part of this story is that Tyler Hansbrough is going to be okay. It appears that he’s moved on from the entire incident, and frankly, so should we.

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UNC vs. Duke Live Blog II: UNC Wins, 86-72

Today, UNC plays their final game of the season in the Dean Dome against the University of New Jersey at Durham. This is an extremely important game not only because of our opponent, or because it’s the last home game for Rayshawn Terry, Wes Miller, and Dewey Burke. The Heels are still vying for ACC and NCAA tournament position.

That was a sentence I would not have believed I would be typing at the beginning of the year. The ACC is a tough conference, but considering how well the Heels played last year and how good the incoming freshman are, everyone was fully expecting the Heels to run away with the conference title and a #1 seed in the Big Dance by this point. One of the problems is unrealistic expectations (last year was a freak of nature that we may never see again), but the main problem has been our gameplan, or specifically our deviation from it. Our bench players have seen significantly less time. We haven’t been aggressive on defense. Our inexperienced guards are not shooting well, but more importantly they’re shooting too much. Our strength is in the low post. But Hansbrough and Wright have not been reliable defenders either. The bench is their biggest asset, and they need to take more advantage of that. For example, Quentin Thomas is their best passer. He should play at least 10 minutes in this game, probably 15. That will leave 20-25 for Lawson, and 5 for Frasor. Perhaps the most important matchup will be Jon Scheyer versus Wayne Ellington and Marcus Ginyard. If the main objective is improving our defense, Ginyard should start and shut down Scheyer in the game. Ellington shoots too much, anyway.

But I am confident that UNC will win this game and clinch a share of the ACC championship. Don’t take it from me, take it from a corrupt, boring senator:

4:05 pm: Wow. The start of the game almost got pre-empted by the Missouri Vally Conference Championship. That’s how far the Mid-Majors have come.

4:07 pm: Burke and Miller start in the backcourt. WHOOOO!!!

Virginia Tech did its job by losing, now we need to do our job.

4:08 pm: 2-2. McRoberts and Wright each get an easy shot inside to begin the game.

4:09 pm: Duke has already attempted 6 shots. UNC is doing a bad job of defensive rebounding so far.

4:10 pm: 4-2, UNC. Wright goes inside and again scores easily. Dewey Burke comes out of the game.

4:11 pm: 8-2, UNC. Lawson makes a great dish to Terry for the basket, and then Hansbrough tips in a miss to give them 8 straight points. UNC is doing exactly what they should do, attacking the inside on every possession.

4:13 pm: 10-2, UNC. McRoberts tries to cheat by pushing a basket out from inside the net. UNC has all the momentum right now.

Ellington is in for Miller.

4:14 pm: 12-2, UNC. Green and Thompson are already in the game, and Green gives the Heels another easy basket.

4:15 pm: 14-8, UNC. What the Hell? Gerald Henderson was a non-factor all season, and suddenly he hits three straight shots? I of all people should know that UNC-Dook exists in separate bizarro universe, but even I cannot comprehend this. Thankfully, Hansbrough gets another basket and brings back a semblance of sanity. Speaking of insanity…

4:18 pm: Presenting the most bizarre advertisement ever made. For crying out loud, you’re a chemical company!

4:20 pm: 16-10, UNC. Wright scores again, but what the hell is up with Gerald Henderson? Since when did he stop stinking and do stuff like this?

4:21 pm: 18-10, UNC. Wright scores again, this time off a steal and pass by Ellington. There isn’t anyone on this Duke team with the skill set to defend him. Unless Lance Thomas can leap like a combination of a kangaroo and Tyrone Biggums.

4:26 pm: 23-14, UNC. Terry hits a huge three to put the Heels up nine. He’s playing unusually well; normally I would not have heard from him at all at this stage in the game.

4:28 pm: 25-17, UNC. Ginyard makes one off a drive in the lane, but Paulus hits Duke’s first three of the game.

Bobby Frasor is in the game. I’m still awaiting the arrival of Quentin Thomas.

4:29 pm: 27-19, UNC. Hansbrough gets another tip-in, but he gets into early foul trouble. He’s probably the one guy the Heels can ill afford to have on the bench for a long time.

4:31 pm: 27-22, UNC. How does UNC leave Paulus that open? How does Deon Thompson miss a layup? Most importantly, how has CBS managed to resist a Coach K closeup? They haven’t become, like, sane, have they? Nah, probably just an oversight.

4:34 pm: UNC has to do better at rebounding. Their shooting percentage is nearly double that of Duke, but they keep getting second chances.

4:35 pm: 29-22, UNC. Now that’s what I call defense! Thomas gets position inside, but Terry rejects him, and the Heels are able to get a basket in transition by Thompson.

4:36 pm: 32-22, UNC. WAYNE’S WORLD! WAYNE’S WORLD! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! WHOOOOOOOOO!!! (riff) Ellington gets three the hard way to bring the lead back to double digits.

Hansbrough’s back in the game. Odd as it may sound, I’m not sure I like this decision. UNC was doing fine in his absence, why risk a third foul? We need him in the second half.

4:39 pm: Finally, A Coach K closeup after he takes a timeout. I knew CBS would return from their senses eventually.

4:41 pm: TAR! HEELS! TAR! HEELS! TAR! HEELS! TAR! HEELS! TAR!…

4:42 pm: 32-24, UNC. Paulus breaks the drought with an easy layup off a backdoor cut.

Still awaiting the arrival of Quentin Thomas.

4:43 pm: Hansbrough, a great steal, but what the hell kind of a shot was that?

4:47 pm: 34-24, UNC. OOOOHHHHHHH!!!! OOHHHHHH!!! What a pass by Lawson, and Hansbrough is in the paint, all alone. I don’t think I need to tell you what happened next.

4:48 pm: 34-25, UNC. I love you Wes, but what are you doing?!?!?

4:49 pm: How is that a foul on Brandan Wright? It was McClure who was reaching for his nutsack!

4:50 pm: 38-25, UNC. Great defense by the Tar Heels, and it leads to easy transition baskets, the latest by Lawson.

4:51 pm: 38-28, UNC. Just as I type that, Scheyer hits a three to reduce the lead to 10.

4:53 pm: The first half ends, with UNC leading 38-29. UNC played well in the first half, playing good defense and attacking the inside. Three things still concern me about the game so far.

  1. Duke won the rebounding battle in the first half; UNC cannot let Duke keep getting second chances.
  2. Dewey Burke has played more in the game than Quentin Thomas. This is inexcusable; Q passes better than anyone on our team, even if he can’t shoot a lick.
  3. UNC has only attempted 3 free throws so far. Hansbrough and Wright need to be more physical when they get the ball. More importantly, the guards need to get the ball to them when they are in better position to attack. Which brings us back to number two; that’s still one of Lawson’s weaknesses.

Back in the second half.

5:09 pm: 42-29, UNC. Hansbrough gets two straight baskets to start the second half, the first one of which was too easy.

5:10 pm: Correction: when I said Scheyer hit a three, he didn’t/ I turns out he’s has been held scoreless so far.

4:11 pm: 44-35, UNC. Who are you, and what have you done with the real Gerald Henderson?

Wright hits a basket again. He hasn’t missed yet.

Scheyer finally hits a three to bring the lead back to single digits.

5:16 pm: 46-37, UNC. It takes a minute and a half for Duke to score. It takes 6 seconds for Ty Lawson to drive in for a layup.

5:17 pm: 46-40, UNC. What the hell is happening? Suddenly UNC decided to make really bad decisions, and they’re letting the Dookies back in the game. That’s their problem; when they’re mentally focused, they can blow any team out of the sky. But if they’re not mentally focused, well…they lose to 5 players and Sidney Lowe’s red suit.

5:22 pm: 46-42, UNC. Hansbrough finally gets fouled, but he should have made that first shot.

5:23 pm: 50-44, UNC. Hansbrough makes a tough fadeaway jumper to extend the lead.

I am still awaiting the arrival of Quentin Thomas. Does he have an injury I don’t know about?

5:25 pm: 50-48, UNC. Once again, UNC is in danger of losing their lead, and it will be because they didn’t play as hard as the opponent. I am really starting to get sick of this.

5:26 pm: 53-48, UNC. Hansbrough gets the basket AND the foul on McRoberts. He now has 19 points and 12 rebounds.

5:27 pm: 53-50, UNC. Robot Henderson scores again. I’m mad at UNC’s sudden bad decision making, but I guess it wouldn’t be UNC-Duke if it wasn’t a nail biter, would it?

5:31 pm: 56-50, UNC. Ginyard hots a huge three at the top of the key, and Lawson almost steals the inbound pass.

McRoberts flops like an Italian soccer player.

5:32 pm: 58-50, UNC. Hansbrough scores again! This time it’s a hook shot. He now has 21 points.

5:34 pm: 58-50, UNC. If Dook loses, McRoberts should be held single-handedly responsible for their demise.

5:36 pm: 60-50, UNC. Ginyard makes some great moves for a layup to bring the lead back to double digits. It looks like the Dookies may be running out of gas.

5:39 pm: 62-50, UNC. Paulus is on the bench with 4 fouls.

5:41 pm: If Lawson is going to be our point guard, now is a good time to rest him for two to three minutes. Guess who gets my vote?

5:42 pm: 66-52, UNC. Scratch that. Lawson is responsible for two straight buckets, one an assist to Hansbrough. Robot Henderson’s basket is canceled out by a Wright rejection of McClure.

5:45 pm: 68-54, UNC. This Tar Heel team has to realize that they have to play with this kind of intensity for six games in a row if they want to win the national championship. They have yet to show me that they can maintain that mindset long enough to pull it off.

5:48 pm: 68-57, UNC. Carolina, don’t you dare let up now! Don’t leave their guards that open, no matter what the situation is.

5:50 pm: 70-59, UNC, 3:40 left. If all the Heels do is play defense and hit their free throws from this point on, they should hold on to win this game.

5:53 pm: 73-59, UNC, 3:10 left. Wright rebounds a Paulus miss, and Terry hits a jumper off the glass on the other end.

5:54 pm: 75-59, UNC, 2:31 left. It looks like UNC has pretty much sealed this game.

Seriously, could the Rams Club pay for Tyler Hansbrough’s laser eye surgery or something? This whole contact lens thing is getting really old, really fast.

5:56 pm: 75-64, UNC, 1:57, left. Oh no, don’t tell me Scheyer is suddenly going to get hot and mount a Dook comeback.

5:59 pm: Dook is running the full court trap against the Heels. This is how they erased a 10 point deficit in less than 60 seconds against Maryland in 2001. This is textbook Coach K. It almost got Hansbrough to turn the ball over in front of his own basket.

6:01 pm: 79-64, UNC, 1:21 left. Fittingly, Senior Rayshawn Terry puts this game away at the free throw line.

6:06 pm: 83-68, UNC, :46 left. Miller and Ginyard put the exclamation point on this game. WHOOOOO!!!

Terry and Miller are given their curtain call. I’m going to miss them, but Terry should have stepped up to be the team leader this year.

6:10 pm: 84-72, UNC, :17 left. Bye bye, Paulus! Bye bye, McRoberts!

6:12 pm: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That was just a cheap shot by Robot Henderson! He simply took his frustrations out on Tyler Hansbrough’s face! He should be ejected. Tar Heel fans everywhere have a new favorite player to hate.

6:16 pm: YYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHH!!! Henderson is ejected. I looked at the replay, and now I realize that while too aggressive, and probably meant to make solid contact Hansbrough, he probably wasn’t going for the face. Still, the Dean Dome crowd lets him hear it.

6:18 pm: The gems officially ends: UNC wins, 86-72. Normally I would be very ecstatic about winning our final home game, beating Duke by double digits, and winning the ACC regular season crown, but that Henderson elbow (intentional or not) really put a damper on things. I don’t think I’ve seen Hansbrough so pissed off. Seriously, he was about to cry; a blow to the nose hurts like hell. (I should mention that Hansbrough had 26 points and 17 rebounds, one of his best games ever.) Still, congratulations to UNC for finally winning the ACC championship, and to Rayshawn Terry, Dewey Burke and Wes Miller in their final home game. And congratulations to Tar Heel fans across the world We now officially have a new excuse to despise our neighbors.

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UNC vs. Dook: Listen to John Kerry

Pay attention in school, kids. GO HEELS!

UNC vs. Duke Women Live Blog: Goestenkorsopolis Is a City of Lies

Today is a double dip for the Tar Heels. First the Women play their regular season finale against the Dookies in Cameron Indoor at 4:00. Then the UNC men play the Maryland Terrapins in College Park at 5:30. I have to somehow find a way to cover them both. Meanwhile, the Extrapolater is covering Wisconsin-Ohio State at Digital Headbutt. In the first matchup, Alison Bales and Elrana Larkins canceled each other out, and the game was decided in the backcourt. Harding and Waner had great games for Duke, while Ivory Latta may have had the worst game of her career, shooting 3-20, including 0-11 from three. She and Larkins will need to be effective if the Heels want to win this game. It’s a big day in college basketball, so enjoy.

4:04 pm: 3-0, Dook. Harding draws first blood with a three from the top of the key. UNC needs to box out better, that opportunity happened because of Dook’s lowpost presence.

4:05 pm: 5-0, Dook. Alison Bales shows her range with a nice midrange jumper.

4:06 pm: 5-2, Dook. UNC finally gets on the board as Larkins hits a basket off an offensive rebound. We need her to dominate the offensive glass for us to win.

4:07 pm: 5-4, Dook. Latta hits a nice jumpshot to reduce the lead to two.

This Cameron Indoor crowd is almost as intimidating as during a men’s game. I have to give them a lot of credit for that.

4:08 pm: 7-4, Dook. Dook scores easily again to bring the lead back up to three. What’s worse is that Larkins makes a nice move and misses an easy layup on the following possession. We simply cannot afford to miss those kinds of opportunities against such a defensively sound opponent.

4:13 pm: 9-7, Dook. Harding steals the ball and drives for an easy layup, but Camille Little hits a three to reduce the deficit to two. She’s usually in the post, so she was left wide open.

4:14 pm: 12-7, Dook. Alison Bales hits a three. Her versatility is unbelievable. I can;t believe i’m complementing a Dookie.

Big trouble for the Tar Heels: Larkins seems to have injured her ankle. UNC cannot afford to have her out long.

4:16 pm: 14-7, Dook. UNC commits their fourth turnover already, and it leads to a nice floater by Harding. How is allowed to be that open?

4:17 pm: 14-9, Dook. The good news: UNC hits another ourside shot. The bad news: She forced a turnover on the next possession, drove into the lane, and missed her layup.

4:19 pm: 16-9, Dook. Wow. Alison Bales can block our shots without even jumping.

Jessica Breland steals the ball and gets an easy basket inside to make it 16-11, Dook.

4:20 pm: Interesting story: my siser and I were at Carmichael Auditorium to pay our last respects to Latta and Camille Little at their home finale against Wake. We blew them out, but what was fun for me was that we ended up sitting next to Jessica Breland’s entire family. Wake is at the bottom of the ACC barrel, so Breland, a bench player, got significant playing time and ended up scoring a season high 14 points. They were completely ecstatic. I had a lot of fun watching their reaction. Every time she had the ball her mom said “Shoot it!”, and eventually I got into it and started rooting for Jessica specifically.

4:24 pm: 16-15, Dook. UNC definitely has the momentum now. Larkins is back in the game after the TV timeout, UNC score two straight baskets (the latest by Larkins), and the Heels are really starting to force turnovers defensively.

4:26 pm: 18-16, UNC. WHOOOOOO!!! Latta hits a three to give the Heels their first lead of the game. But she got hit hard by a Bales screen and may miss time.

4:27 pm: 20-18, Dook. The Devils take the lead thanks to UNC not bothering to box out. If Duke gets three straight chances, they’re going to score.

4:28 pm: 20-20. Good news: Latta didn’t miss any minutes. Better news: Larkins just tied the game.

4:34 pm: 22-21, UNC. UNc gains the lead, but can;t extend it despite 4 opportunities in the paint. Dook makes them pay and takes the lead.

4:35 pm: 23-22, Dook. What?!? A travel? THAT WAS A FOUL!

4:36 pm: 26-22, Dook. I have to say, UNC is playing a lot better in this game than the first matchup at Carmichael. But it looks like the same things are starting to happen. Latta is starting to take ridiculous shots, and Abby Waner is starting to make it rain like Pacman Jones.

4:38 pm: 26-24, Dook. UNC reduces the deficit to two, as Rashad…er, Rashanda McCants finally gets on the board.

4:40 pm: 28-24, Dook. The reason Dook is winning is because they have 13 second chance points to 4 for UNC. If not for them, the Heels have a 5 point lead.

4:41 pm: 28-28, Dook. Wait a minute…since when does Rashanda play out of her mind? Surely this must be Rashad changing places with her in drag. Which is understandable, because the Timberwolves only play him 3 minutes a game anyway.

4:47 pm: 35-28, Dook. What the hell just happened? Dook seemed to have just opened the floodgates. UNC is simply not getting their rebounds.

4:48 pm: 35-30, Dook. UNC stops the the momentum with a great assist from Latta to Larkins.

4:49 pm: the half ends, Dook leading 35-30. The scoreboard is eerily similar to the last matchup, and Latta’s performance is similar (7 points, 2-9 shooting). But this game seems to be going at a much faster pace. UNC needs to hit the shots that the Dookies are allowing them. Right now that’s the 10-15 foot jumpers. If they can hit those and outrebound the Devils in the second half, they have a very good chance of winning.

5:06 pm: 35-32, Dook. Larkins scores the first points of the second half for the Tar Heels.

It’s nice to see at least a decent UNC constituency in the stands.

5:07 pm: 35-34, Dook. Larkins gets another shot (she now has 12), but butmore importantly the second half has begun very sloppy. In fact, this game ahs been pretty sloppy since midway in the first half.

5:09 pm: 37-34, Dook. Bales is left all alone in the middle and gets an easy layup.

5:10 pm: 40-36, Dook. Wainisha Smith hits a three to extend the lead to 4. She led the Dookies with 17 in the last matchup.

5:11 pm: 42-38, Dook. Smith hits another outside shot, and Latte gets her first points in the half from the one place her shots are uncontested: the free throw line. The Devils’ defense has been more tenacious than a trial lawyer.

5:15 pm: 42-42. One of the UNC forwards (I think it’s Pringle) makes a great left-handed layup, and then Larkins drives right past Bales to tie the game.

5:17 pm: 45-42, Dook. Just when the Tar Heels get the momentum, Lindsey Harding gets three the hard way to swing the pendulum right back.

5:19 pm: 46-44, Dook. Jessica Breland’s mom: “Oh my God! Yeah! Whoooo! That’s my baby! That’s my baby!”

5:21 pm: 51-46, Dook. There is no excuse for Abby Waner to be that open on the perimeter.

5:22 pm: 51-49, Dook. UNC steals the ball, and Latta gets an easy layup.

The UNC men play the Terps in ten minutes. I still don’t know how I’m going to pull this off.

5:26 pm: 51-51. Latta drives the lane and ties the game with a tough layup over the trees. She’s really heating up in the second half. More importantly, she’s making better decisions.

5:29 pm: 52-51, Dook. Wow. Lindsey Harding is missing her free throws. She must be getting really tired.

5:30 pm: 53-52, UNC. Yes! Larkins makes a nice shot in the paint, and takes the lead for the first time in a while.

5:32 pm: 53-53. This game has been really intense. Both teams must be spent at this point. Their effort certainly has not wavered.

5:33 pm: 55-53, Dook. The other Waner sister robs Ivory blind, and gets an easy layup on the under end. NOOOOOOOO!!!

5:37 pm: 56-55, UNC. Camille Little hits a huge three to give the lead back to the Tar Heels. She was able to make that shot because of great perimeter passing.

5:38 pm: 56-55, UNC. How does Larkins miss those shots? They were point-blank! She’s been on fire today! Why did they not go in?!?

5:43 pm: 57-56, Dook. The Devils get the lead back. Don’t ask me how, I was watching the start of the men’s game. My suggestion is, watch the women’s game until it’s over. I’ll still try to double dip. Boy, that sounds weird, doesn’t it?

5:45 pm: 59-56, Dook. Abby Waner hits a nice shot to extend the lead to 3. More importantly, UNC can’t buy a decent shot attempt right now.

5:50 pm: 61-56, Dook, 2:50 left. Dook has done an unbelievable job on defense today. UNC hasn’t gotten any chances in the last five minutes. They must solve this problem quickly, as time is now a factor and the Dook band, in all their arrogance, is now playing salsa.

5:54 pm: If the Dookies were able to make their free throws, this game would be over. It’s not looking good for UNC. They have not hit a shot since there were eight minutes left in the game.

5:56 pm: 62-56, Dook, 1:03 left. It looks like the Heels have simply run out of gas.

5:59 pm: 64-58, Dook, :53 left. Latta hits two free throws, but this is their first points in 6:52. You simply cannot go clod like that late in the second half in a close game and expect to win.

6:03 pm: 66-60, Dook, :14 left. UNC gets its first basket in over seven minutes, but Dook is salting it away at the free throw line.

6:06 pm: The game goes final: The Dookies win, 68-62. Duke is the first team in ACC history to go undefeated in women’s basketball. Combine howw good this team is with the very real pssobility of playing all of their regional games in Raleigh and Grrensboro, they can pretty much punch their ticket to the final four at this point, barring something really bad happening. Congratulations, I hope Goestenkorsopolis is very, very cold tonight.